A concerned grandmother from Nevada has reached out to the popular advice column Dear Abby, detailing a family rift caused by her grandchildren's disruptive behaviour and her daughter's refusal to implement any discipline.
A Family Vacation Tradition Under Threat
The writer explains that she has three daughters, all with children of their own, and the family maintains an annual vacation tradition. The problem stems from her daughter, referred to as "Monica," and Monica's two children, aged 8 and 9.
The grandmother describes the children as cursing, yelling at adults, and showing a complete lack of respect. Despite bringing this to Monica's attention multiple times, the mother reacts defensively, accusing her family of being mean and not liking her kids. She often retorts, "I'm not going to beat my kids," even though the family has only suggested time-outs or scolding.
Escalating Tensions and Enabling Behaviour
The situation has deteriorated to the point where if another family member asks the children to stop their bad behaviour, they "act like victims." The conflict is now fracturing the wider family. One of the other daughters has explicitly refused to attend the planned family vacation because of her nieces' and nephew's conduct.
The letter reveals deeper concerns about Monica's parenting approach, noting she even goes to her children's school to argue with teachers and the principal if her kids report "they didn't get their way." The grandmother ends her plea by stating, "I don't know what her issue is. Her reasons sound like she is mentally ill. Anything you can recommend?" and signs off as "NOT ENABLING IN NEVADA."
Abby's Blunt Advice: Set Firm Boundaries
In her response published on January 19, 2026, Abby (Jeanne Phillips) did not mince words. She labelled Monica "a terrible parent" for failing to teach her children appropriate behaviour before they "get into serious trouble."
Recognizing that the grandmother cannot force her daughter to see reality, Abby's primary recommendation is straightforward: stop inviting Monica and her children on the family vacations. She justifies this tough love by stating their behaviour is unacceptable and that their cousins should not be further influenced by such a bad example.
The column also featured a second letter from a 70-year-old man in Texas struggling as the sole caregiver for his ailing 71-year-old wife while trying to run his own business. Abby directed him to the Caregiver Action Network for support and resources.
The column concluded with a remembrance of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, quoting his message: "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."
