DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman with no children, a loving partner, and a puppy. I run a business that my father originally built. I am at a high point in my life despite the tragedy of losing my mother. I realize that my friendships are important as I move forward in life.
One woman I have known since childhood posts harsh, opinionated political content on her social media. I do not agree with her views. I do not mind that she holds those political views as long as I do not have to see them, but I would prefer she kept them out of our friendship.
My social media contains only family photos and pictures of my dog's antics. I choose not to post things that might cause division. Would it be wrong to end this friendship, since our adult views no longer align? — SPLIT DECISION IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SPLIT DECISION: When your longtime friend posts these items on social media, she is not posting them only to you. She is sharing them with all of her friends, many of whom may share her opinions. Rather than end the relationship, you can scroll past her postings, mute them, or block them entirely. However, if she brings these views up when you are together, ask her to keep politics out of the discussion.
DEAR ABBY: I am hosting a dinner at a restaurant to celebrate my wife's birthday. There will be 16 guests, all family members. Our daughter "Erin," to whom it is hard to say no, has just asked if our grandson can bring his girlfriend. While they appear to be in a serious relationship, no one else at the celebration has ever met the girl.
A few years ago, Erin did something similar. She asked on Christmas Day if her son could bring a friend to what was a family dinner of 12 in our home. We apologized and said it would not work out. Erin then refused to come to dinner with her family of five. She was furious for weeks. I feel requests like this are inappropriate. Am I off base? — CROWDED HOST IN ARIZONA
DEAR HOST: You are not off base. Erin has a lot of nerve to think she can dictate who can bring someone along to someone else's celebration, and then throw a fit if the answer is no. Stick to your guns and do not allow yourself to be intimidated.
DEAR ABBY: After your children become adults, who should initiate phone calls? I usually wait for my kids to do it because they have busier lives than I do and I do not want to bother them. But this can mean I do not talk with my children for weeks at a time. Should I be the one calling? — SITTING BY THE PHONE IN COLORADO
DEAR SITTING: Call your children as often as you wish. If they are busy and cannot talk long, they will probably tell you. However, if between the calls you are just sitting and waiting for the phone to ring, I urge you to start involving yourself in activities that bring you pleasure and stimulate your mind. If you do, your conversations will be livelier.
