What Is the Kivin Method?
Once you have mastered the basics of oral sex, it is easy to fall into a routine. However, bedroom skills can always be refined. The Kivin method, also known as the sideways method, is a technique that sex experts recommend for enhancing the experience. Instead of facing the receiver head-on, the giver lies perpendicular across the receiver's body, aligning their lips side-to-side. The receiver typically raises one or both legs over the giver's shoulder for better access.
How It Works
This position focuses on stimulating the clitoris, vulva, and perineum from the side using the tongue. The perineum is the diamond-shaped area of skin and tissue between the anus and genitals. This broader stimulation can be more intense and pleasurable for many people. The technique was mentioned in the 2001 book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tantric Sex and is widely discussed by sex educators online.
Benefits of the Kivin Method
Sex therapists and sexologists note that the sideways approach naturally changes stimulation. It can be more comfortable for the giver, particularly for the neck, as it avoids awkward craning. This allows the giver to continue longer, increasing pleasure for the receiver. Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author of Ride 'Em Cowgirl! Sex Position Secrets for Better Bucking, explains that the position frees the hands, enabling easy access to breasts, stomach, thighs, and hips from a new angle. Internal stimulation, such as vaginal, G-spot, or anal play, can also be incorporated more easily.
Additionally, the receiver can caress the giver, fostering a more intimate and connected experience. Allison suggests rubbing shoulders, playing with hair, or teasing nipples. However, every individual is different, and not everyone will enjoy the Kivin method.
Tips for Trying the Kivin Method
Stretch Beforehand
Greg Kilpatrick, a psychotherapist and sex therapist in Pasadena, California, recommends stretching before sex, just as you would for exercise. This helps the body perform optimally.
Try It on the Couch
Keeley Rankin, a sex and relationship coach in San Francisco, suggests the receiver lies on a couch while the giver kneels on the floor, tipping their head to the side. This position may be easier than both partners lying flat on a bed. Comfort is key for enthusiasm, so adjust as needed.
Receiver on Their Side
Allison recommends a variation where the receiver lies on their side, bending the top leg and lifting it slightly. The giver approaches from the side in a T position, offering a different feel.
Use Pillows
Placing a pillow or sex pillow under the receiver's hips while on their back can make access easier. The giver can lie on their stomach for a comfortable angle.
Communicate
Open communication is vital. Kilpatrick notes that what feels good to one partner may not to another. Discussing preferences can lead to more pleasure. For example, a male partner might not think to stimulate the labia until he realizes his scrotum has similar tissue sensitivity.
Try the Velvet Glide
Allison describes a technique called The Velvet Glide: create a soft seal with your lips over the entire vulva, maintain gentle suction, and glide side-to-side along the vulva's full length. This provides consistent coverage and stimulates many nerve endings, including those on the inner labia.
Conclusion
The Kivin method can enhance oral sex by offering broader stimulation, comfort, and intimacy. Experiment with positions and communicate with your partner to find what works best. With practice, this technique can become a valuable addition to your sexual repertoire.
