We often turn to friends for laughter, support, and honest advice. But could these cherished relationships hold the secret to a longer, healthier life? That's the compelling question explored by Raj Punjabi-Johnson and Noah Michelson, hosts of HuffPost's "Am I Doing It Wrong?" podcast, in a recent conversation with psychologist and University of Maryland professor Marisa Franco.
The Science of Social Connection and Longevity
During the interview, Franco explained the profound biological impact of feeling connected. "When we feel connected, we release oxytocin. Oxytocin makes us happy, but it’s also considered the fountain of youth," she stated. She presented a striking comparison, noting that research shows having a large, diverse social network increases our longevity more than the combined effects of diet and exercise.
"I think in our society, we have focused on so many different aspects of health that are important, but social connection should be at the top of our list," Franco emphasized. Podcast host Noah Michelson pointed out a common gap in medical check-ups: "When you go to the doctor, they ask, 'Do you work out? Are you smoking?' They never say, 'How many friends do you have?' or 'How much time are you spending with other people?' and they probably should be."
Franco supported this view by citing studies indicating that loneliness can exacerbate the symptoms of a common cold and that a lack of strong social ties can lead to a lower antibody response to vaccines.
How to Cultivate Friendships in Adulthood
Given the clear health benefits, the next question is practical: how do we build more friendship in our lives, especially when it becomes more challenging with age? Franco's first and simplest suggestion is to reconnect with people you've lost touch with.
"Research finds that every seven years we lose about half of our friends, and that is not because we hate each other [or] there’s conflict — it’s just life happens," she explained. Rekindling an old friendship can be as easy as scrolling through your text messages from a year ago. Sending a simple message like, "Hey! How’ve you been? It’s been a while," can reopen a valuable connection.
This strategy is particularly effective because trust is already established. Franco also highlighted that people often underestimate how much an old friend would appreciate hearing from them. "Sometimes you think, 'Oh, they’ve already moved on,' [but] people tend to be very happy to receive that reach-out," she assured.
Beyond Reconnection: Building New Bonds
In the full podcast episode, Franco offered a wealth of additional advice on where to meet new people and how to deepen budding friendships. She discussed how changing the location of a meetup can transform a growing connection and even pointed out one place you might want to avoid when looking for friends.
To hear all of Franco's insights, you can listen to the complete episode of "Am I Doing It Wrong?" above or on any major podcast platform. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode of the brand-new third season. The podcast library also includes investigations into tipping etiquette, managing credit card debt, online dating, overcoming anxiety, and tips from experts like celebrity chef Jet Tila.
For more from Dr. Marisa Franco, you can visit her website and follow her on Instagram @DrMarisaGFranco. If you have a question about something you might be doing wrong, the podcast hosts invite you to email them at AmIDoingItWrong@HuffPost.com for potential investigation in a future episode.
