A man from Colorado has written to advice columnist Dear Abby, expressing deep hurt and confusion after a close friendship with a woman turned intimate, only for her to start dating another man while insisting they remain best friends. The letter, published in March 2026, details a six-month relationship that began platonically but quickly progressed emotionally and physically.
From Friendship to Intimacy
The writer explains that he started spending time with a woman he knew casually about a year after her traumatic breakup. Initially, they were just friends, but as they opened up and shared personal details, their bond deepened. Despite her insistence that they were "just friends," she dated other men, which did not bother him at first.
Two months into their friendship, they became intimate. Three months ago, she began referring to them, along with her puppy, as "a family," discussing future children and grandchildren. She asked to meet his parents and ensured he met hers when they visited, leading him to believe this was a long-term commitment, even though she still labeled them as friends.
Sudden Change and Rejection
Three weeks ago, the woman met and started dating another man. She told the writer she still wants to be best friends, revealing she had been "50-50" about dating him the entire time. She admitted she couldn't commit because she wasn't physically attracted to him consistently, despite their months of intimacy. Feeling hurt and bewildered, he cut things off and is now seeking advice on understanding her decision.
Abby's Response
Dear Abby responded by stating that the woman, while an adult chronologically, is emotionally immature. She noted that intense physical attraction often diminishes over time, and lasting relationships like marriage depend on more than that. Abby praised the woman's honesty but advised the writer to be glad he discovered her true nature, as he "dodged a bullet." She reassured him that not all women are like this and encouraged him to trust that he will meet someone reliable in the future.
Additional Advice on Wedding Deception
In the same column, another letter from California addresses a different issue: a friend who held a wedding ceremony that was never legally registered, misleading guests into thinking it was a real marriage. The writer, who attended and brought an expensive gift, feels betrayed upon learning it was just a commitment ceremony. The friend admitted she wanted people to think it was a real wedding to get gifts and a party.
Abby sympathized with the writer's reaction, noting that while no formal etiquette rule forbids such deception, it involves lying to friends and loved ones. She suggested the friend and her boyfriend avoided a legal commitment because they didn't want a lifetime bond, emphasizing the importance of honesty in relationships.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. It continues to offer guidance on personal and social dilemmas, highlighting themes of trust, communication, and emotional maturity in modern relationships.
