Dear Abby: Grandmother Alarmed by Ex-Daughter-in-Law's Explicit Remark to Teenage Grandson
A concerned grandmother from Colorado has reached out to the renowned advice columnist Dear Abby, expressing deep distress over an incident involving her ex-daughter-in-law and their 16-year-old grandson. The grandmother, who signed her letter "Disgusted in Colorado," detailed how the woman recently told the teenager that she ended a relationship because her boyfriend refused to have sex with her.
The grandmother and her husband were horrified by this disclosure, noting that their grandson was visibly upset by the comment. They questioned whether such behavior could be classified as a form of emotional abuse, given the grandson's age and the inappropriate nature of the conversation.
Family History and Current Living Situation
According to the letter, the grandson and his brother have not resided with their mother for the past five years. The boys chose to live with their father after growing weary of their mother's lifestyle, which included smoking, drinking, and a series of transient boyfriends. The grandmother emphasized that the children are now content in their father's care and have minimal contact with their mother.
In her response, Abby acknowledged the surprising nature of the mother's comment but clarified that it does not constitute abuse. She suggested that the mother might have been under the influence of alcohol when she made the remark. Abby advised the grandmother to focus on the positive aspects of the situation, such as the grandson's stable home environment with his father, and recommended letting the incident pass without further confrontation.
Additional Advice Column Inquiries: Property Damage and Workplace Boundaries
The same edition of Dear Abby featured two other letters seeking guidance on personal and professional matters. One writer, identified as "Dinged in Ohio," complained about her boyfriend's key clip damaging her car and home door frames. Despite repeated requests for him to change his habits, no action was taken. Abby responded by criticizing the boyfriend's lack of respect for property and suggested that the writer demand compensation for the damages or consider ending the relationship.
Another letter from "Girls at Work in Michigan" described a dilemma with a co-worker who is friendly at work but reluctant to socialize outside the office. The group expressed frustration over not being invited to the co-worker's home and speculated about her motives. Abby firmly advised them to respect the co-worker's boundaries, explaining that work relationships do not necessarily translate into personal friendships and that their pressure was inappropriate.
About Dear Abby and Its Legacy
Dear Abby is authored by Jeanne Phillips, who writes under the pen name Abigail Van Buren. The column was originally established by her mother, Pauline Phillips, and has become a staple in advice journalism, addressing a wide range of personal and social issues. Readers can submit their questions through DearAbby.com or by mail to P.O. Box 69440 in Los Angeles, California.
This column highlights ongoing challenges in family communication, relationship dynamics, and social etiquette, offering practical solutions while emphasizing the importance of respect and clear boundaries in all interactions.
