A woman's youthful appearance is causing significant professional friction, leading her to seek counsel from the renowned advice columnist, Dear Abby. The letter, published on January 11, 2026, details the unique challenges faced by a 31-year-old who is consistently mistaken for a teenager.
The Struggle of a 'Baby Face' in the Professional World
The writer, who signs her letter 'Baby Face in Rhode Island,' explains her dilemma. Despite being 31, she is regularly perceived as being 18 or 19 years old. This persistent misjudgment of her age has led to a pattern of condescending treatment from employers, supervisors, and colleagues.
She reports being called a 'girl' instead of a woman, receiving incredulous looks when referencing the 1990s, and even being accused of lying about her age. Some coworkers have gone as far as to ask for her driver's licence to verify her claims. Behind her back, she has overheard comments describing her as 'adorable,' further infantilizing her in the workplace.
Failed Attempts to Appear Older
In an effort to be taken more seriously, the woman has experimented with several strategies. She tried wearing more mature clothing but found it uncomfortable and inauthentic. Applying daily makeup only resulted in her looking like a teenager wearing makeup. Attempting to clarify her age during icebreaker activities elicited giggles of disbelief from peers.
Even mentioning her college graduation year failed to shift perceptions. She notes that speaking and behaving like an adult has not helped, as colleagues have admitted they believed she was simply a 'precocious teen.' She acknowledges that her enjoyment of cartoons and anime, coupled with a painfully shy demeanor—which others often confuse with inexperience—may contribute to the problem.
Abby's Advice: Focus on Career and Self-Acceptance
In her response, Jeanne Phillips (who writes as Abigail Van Buren) offers a blend of practical advice and psychological support. She gently points out that the writer's youthful appearance, combined with her youthful interests and a life path involving frequent job changes in low-level positions, may understandably cause confusion about her age among coworkers.
Phillips suggests that some of this behavior may stem from jealousy or closed-mindedness. Her key recommendation is for 'Baby Face' to reduce her job-hopping and focus on establishing a concrete career path. This stability would allow colleagues time to know her better as a professional.
Ultimately, Phillips advises the woman to be cordial, stand up for herself when necessary, and stop letting the remarks affect her deeply. 'You know who you are, and that’s what is most important,' she concludes.
The column also features a second letter from 'Only Human in Minnesota,' a man whose wife publicly ridicules him, using vulgar names and mocking a bladder control issue. Phillips responds bluntly, stating that such cruel behavior indicates a lack of respect and love, and urges him to confront the reality of his marriage.
