From Ex-Wives to Best Friends: How Three Women Found Healing Through Shared Betrayal
At just 21 years old, Frances Scott walked down the aisle wearing her mother's satin wedding dress, marrying John after only six months of dating. This whirlwind romance began shortly after her five-year relationship with previous boyfriend Tayloe ended, making what should have remained a rebound relationship instead become her first marriage.
The wedding occurred in 1981, the same year Princess Diana married Prince Charles, but Frances's fairy tale quickly unraveled. Days after exchanging vows, the newlyweds packed a U-Haul and drove from Mississippi to Montana to complete their college education.
The First Signs of Trouble
"During our first Christmas together, John bought himself new downhill skis and presented his old pair to me with a big bow tied around them," Frances recalls. "I excused myself and fled to the bathroom to cry. Not only was his re-gifting hurtful, but I still missed my old boyfriend and the way we had given each other thoughtful gifts."
This marked the initial indication that their marriage was fundamentally flawed. John did fulfill one dream by purchasing a cabin at the foot of a mountain, but since they shared only one car and he worked nights at a restaurant, Frances often found herself alone, with loneliness creeping in during the long evenings.
Her suspicions about infidelity were confirmed when she phoned the restaurant late one night and a waitress handed John the receiver. "I was sure my inadequacies had caused my husband to step outside our relationship," she admits. His affairs ultimately ended their two-year marriage, leaving Frances feeling inferior, disheartened, and confused.
An Unexpected Connection Forms
After their divorce, John began dating Wendy and eventually called Frances to share surprising news over lunch. "Wendy is pregnant, and we're getting married," he blurted out. Thanks to therapy that helped her understand John's infidelities weren't about her, Frances received this news gracefully.
She first met Wendy when the couple came to collect a canoe she and John jointly owned. "As our hands touched during introductions, I picked up on a warm friendliness about her," Frances remembers. While John loaded the canoe, the two women chatted like friends. Since Wendy wasn't someone John had cheated with, Frances felt no ill will toward her.
When Wendy's daughter was born in May 1985, the new mother asked Frances to babysit occasionally since she was relatively new to town. "I saw no reason to say no since I liked Wendy and I was over John," Frances explains. Wendy later joked, "I think we shocked your ex-mother-in-law by having you watch the baby."
Decades Later, A Revelation
After Frances moved away and lost touch with Wendy for twelve years, a mutual friend called with surprising news: John and Wendy had divorced. The friend relayed a message from Wendy: "Tell Frances it's not us, it's him."
In 2010, when Frances returned to the mountain town she loved and opened a consignment store, Wendy came to welcome her back. "We were thrilled to see each other, and it instantly felt like we were old friends," Frances says. Wendy had remarried but was dealing with her husband's serious health issues.
During a coffee date a month later, Wendy revealed that John had been unfaithful to her as well. "John got married—and divorced—again. He cheated on her, too!" Wendy shared. "I like Suzy. We should invite her to join us sometime. We could share our stories."
The Triple X's Are Born
A few months later on a chilly winter evening, the three women—all former wives of the same man—sat together at a dimly lit restaurant. The small talk lasted only minutes before they began sharing remarkably similar stories of betrayal and deception during their marriages to John.
"I didn't know he had been married twice before!" Suzy revealed. "I was standing in my soon-to-be mother-in-law's kitchen when I asked about wedding gifts. She said, 'Well, this is his third marriage.' Of course, I knew about Wendy, but not you, Frances."
As the restaurant prepared to close, the women were still chatting, amazed at the parallel themes of betrayal and identical lies that had woven through each of their marriages. They hugged as they departed, making plans for future gatherings.
"Never in a million years did I imagine I would be sitting at the same table with two of John's ex-wives," Frances reflects. "Sharing our stories validated each of our experiences. It was clear his betrayals weren't about us." Suzy remarked, "At least he has good taste in women!" On that point, they all agreed.
From Shared History to Genuine Friendship
Six months after their first gathering, Wendy suggested they call themselves The Triple X's (XXX) and joked about opening a fine lingerie shop with the same name. During their third meet-up, John didn't come up in conversation once—they discussed books, music, work, and community events instead.
"Eventually we were no longer three women connected by the same ex—we were friends," Frances notes. A decade after their first meal together, they've supported each other through difficult times: Wendy's second divorce, Suzy's stressful job, and Frances's cancer diagnosis.
Frances lived with Wendy for a summer between residences, and both women have trusted her with house- and pet-sitting duties. "The first time I dog-sat for Wendy, I felt right at home when I reached into the kitchen cabinet for a plate and found my everyday china from my marriage to John!" Frances recalls with amusement.
A Healing Wedding Celebration
When Wendy and John's daughter married in 2016, she invited both Suzy and Frances to the celebration. "We had each touched her daughter's life, and she wanted us there," Frances explains. The outdoor wedding included John, his new partner, their ex-mother-in-law, and ex-brother-in-law among the guests.
While Frances felt comfortable about seeing John, Suzy was nervous since this would be her first encounter with him and his new partner—the woman he had left her for. "We told her that our mutual ex-husband would witness our connection and see three good choices that ended due to his bad choices," Frances says.
On that sunny fall day, John—who despite his infidelity remained a good father—gave his daughter away. After the ceremony, the bride's grandmother, Frances's ex-mother-in-law, spotted her and insisted on gathering Wendy and Suzy for a photograph.
"Thirty-five years later, I was experiencing a redemption I never imagined," Frances shares. "My ex-mother-in-law had sided with her son during our divorce, but now she was hugging me and asking how I was. Her actions were apology enough."
Finding Autonomy and Lasting Friendship
Since her marriage to John ended, Frances has been married twice more, with both relationships also concluding in divorce. "I've finally come into my own and no longer feel I need a man to be complete," she states. Therapy helped her realize she was never actually afraid of being alone, but rather feared "something being wrong with me" if she didn't marry.
"But there isn't—and there never was," she affirms. "I love my autonomy and I love my life. Now, at 64, I know it's my friendships that sustain me, and, really, they always have."
Frances expresses deep gratitude for Wendy and Suzy and all they've experienced together despite the unusual circumstances that brought them together. She looks forward to sharing many more years of fun, adventure, and mutual support with the women who transformed from fellow ex-wives into cherished lifelong friends.
