A grandmother from Texas is experiencing profound heartache, feeling like a complete stranger to her own grandchild. In a poignant letter to the renowned advice columnist Dear Abby, she details a painful family dynamic that has left her and her ex-husband sidelined while her daughter-in-law's family enjoys regular access.
A Growing Distance and Missed Milestones
The situation involves a son who married "a lovely woman" named Noelle two years ago. The couple, who live a couple of hours away, have a one-year-old son. While Noelle's parents live a mere ten miles from the grandmother and receive visits nearly every weekend, the paternal grandmother has not seen her grandson since his first birthday party five months ago.
The exclusion extends to other family members. The grandmother's daughter, who lives down the street from Noelle's parents and is the mother of the baby's cousins, was not invited to the child's first birthday party. The grandmother had to bring her daughter's children herself. She notes the party was mostly adults, with the exception of a cousin's baby.
No History of Conflict, Just Exclusion
The grandmother emphasizes there has been "no ugliness" between the families. Despite this, the paternal side feels unrecognized. The baby's paternal grandfather has never been allowed to meet his grandson and may have never even met Noelle.
Repeated requests for visits, even offers to have the baby left for a day or overnight to foster a bond, have gone unanswered. "What can I say to make them understand how much they are hurting the family and the baby by avoiding us?" the grandmother, who signs as "Disappointed Grandma in Texas," pleads. She fears confronting the issue directly might make matters worse.
Abby's Advice: A Conversation with the Son
In her response, published on January 12, 2026, Abby (Jeanne Phillips) cuts to the core of the issue: the son's role. She advises the grandmother to discuss her feelings directly with her son, whom she describes as seemingly "clueless or entirely ineffectual" in the situation.
The key question for the son is whether he recognizes that his parents have been "pushed entirely out of the picture." If he is aware, he might explain why. If he is not, hearing his mother's hurt may prompt him to finally assert himself within his own family unit. Abby concludes with the simple, powerful advice: "Better late than never."
In a second letter, a widower from California, grieving after his wife's five-year battle with stage-4 breast cancer, seeks advice on moving forward. Feeling alone but guilty at the thought of dating, he wonders if a new connection would be therapeutic or feel like betrayal.
Abby offers sympathy and suggests professional help, recommending a female licensed psychotherapist or a grief support group. She cautions against using a potential new romantic partner as an outlet for grief and guilt, which could drive them away or lead to being taken advantage of during a vulnerable time.
