Essential Overnight Hosting Etiquette: Avoiding Common Rude Behaviors
Hosting guests overnight is a generous act that deserves appreciation, but it does not grant hosts the right to treat visitors poorly. Respect and kindness are fundamental for making guests feel valued, according to Jackie Vernon-Thompson, founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette. She emphasizes that following a few etiquette protocols can ensure guests feel comfortable, welcomed, respected, and appreciated during their stay.
The specific guidelines may vary depending on your relationship with the guest and the nature of the visit. For instance, hosting in-laws for two weeks differs significantly from letting a friend crash on your couch for a night. However, regardless of the circumstances, being a considerate host does not require spending a fortune or sacrificing excessive time. Simply adhere to the Golden Rule and basic dos and don’ts, with a focus on avoiding common mistakes.
Below, Vernon-Thompson and other etiquette experts share rude behaviors to avoid and practical advice for hosting overnight guests effectively.
Not Providing Clean Sheets or Towels
Even if you do not deep-clean your home or prepare elaborate meals, providing essentials like clean sheets and towels is non-negotiable. Tami Claytor of Always Appropriate Image & Etiquette Consulting stresses that freshly laundered linens should be easily accessible for guests to sleep and shower comfortably. The primary need is a comfortable, ideally private, sleeping area, so test any pullout couches or cots beforehand.
Diane Gottsman, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life,” recommends doing a trial sleepover in your guest room to assess mattress comfort, sheet condition, and duvet cleanliness. If you cannot provide clean linens, ask guests in advance to bring their own, but do not expect them to supply toilet paper, hand soap, or bath products. Vernon-Thompson notes that your home should function as a makeshift hotel suite, with these items signaling thoughtfulness toward guest comfort.
Hovering Over Guests
Jodi R.R. Smith of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting advises allowing guests downtime without intrusion. Do not listen at doors or tap to check if they are awake if they retreat to their room. Similarly, avoid questioning them about every text or email. Guests need alone time, so trust that they are fine without constant interaction.
Smith adds that turning off lights immediately after a guest leaves a room is inconsiderate. Also, refrain from cleaning up after them in their view, as this can imply dissatisfaction with their tidiness. Vernon-Thompson suggests staying out of guest areas until after they depart to prevent awkwardness.
Ignoring Allergies and Dietary Restrictions
Before guests arrive, discuss any food allergies or dietary restrictions to avoid causing illness. Vernon-Thompson highlights that this conversation is essential for safety. If you cannot accommodate severe allergies, refer guests to nearby accommodations, as noted by Smith.
Consider asthma or fragrance sensitivities by avoiding problematic air fresheners or cleaning products. For pet allergies, discuss whether staying with you is feasible. To be extra considerate, stock favorite foods, drinks, flowers, or soaps based on guest preferences.
Not Welcoming Guests Properly
Greeting guests at the door sets a positive tone, according to Smith. Usher them in, allow them to settle, and offer refreshments after they freshen up. A tidy home and a warm welcome show appreciation for their travel. If you cannot be present, leave a welcome note with instructions, snacks, and an estimated return time.
Encourage guests to make themselves at home and provide a tour if needed. Gottsman recommends having closet space available for guests to unpack clothes during their stay.
Not Sharing Important House Information
Ensure guests know where to find essentials like the Wi-Fi password, phone chargers, extra towels, and coffee. Nick Leighton, co-host of the “Were You Raised by Wolves?” podcast, suggests writing a note with details such as the address for ride-sharing and locations of basics. Smith includes examples like noting if a cat might join them in bed or if pipes make noise.
Specify which bathroom to use and mention any off-limits areas, but avoid presenting a long list of strict rules. Vernon-Thompson advises that rules should only apply to special circumstances, like religious practices, which should be communicated in advance.
Failing to Communicate About Plans and Expectations
Discuss schedules in advance so everyone knows wake-up times and daily plans. Leighton emphasizes inclusivity without being demanding. Claytor warns against excluding guests from pre-scheduled activities or expecting them to mimic your routines exactly.
Smith recommends allowing schedule flexibility, as hosts cannot demand guests adhere to early bedtimes or quiet hours. However, unreasonable needs, like late-night Zoom calls, should be addressed by referring guests to other accommodations if necessary.
By avoiding these common mistakes, hosts can create a welcoming environment that respects guest comfort and fosters positive experiences.
