A recent viral clip featuring Alex Ball, the newly appointed chief-of-staff to New Jersey Governor-elect Mikie Sherrill, has ignited an online debate, but not for the political content of her message. The criticism focused almost entirely on her speech pattern, specifically her frequent use of the word like.
In a conversation with Crooked Media’s Tommy Vietor, Ball discussed party unity, saying, The bed-wetting that happens in our party has got to stop. Like, the Republican side, while their candidate was, like, continuing to underperform...
She argued for more steadfast support within her own party, but online commenters zeroed in on her delivery. One called her a Valley Girl,
while another dramatically concluded, We’re so screwed,
based on her use of filler words.
The Hidden Purpose of Filler Words
This criticism is part of a recurring cycle where speech patterns, particularly those associated with women, are deemed unprofessional or unintelligent. However, linguists and communication experts assert that these filler words
are a natural and functional part of spoken language.
Despite being used as a cudgel to dismiss speakers, these words do not indicate a lack of intelligence or preparation. Instead, they serve crucial cognitive and social functions.
More often than not, people think filler words are just that – filler. But in reality, they give whoever is speaking some time to think, organize their thoughts, or manage the flow of conversation,
explained Esteban Touma, a linguist and language teacher at Babbel. They’re essentially conversational commas.
Erik Larson, a psychiatric-mental health nurse practitioner, added that from a psychological perspective, filler words can make speech sound more polite and are often used by people who are more conscientious and attentive to their listeners.
A Gendered Critique
The backlash against filler words like like
is not applied equally. Experts point out a clear and persistent gender bias in how such speech patterns are perceived.
It has been heavily gendered, and associated with young, unintelligent women – think: the Valley Girl accent,
said Touma. The bias comes from how we associate linguistic features with social groups, not from anything ‘wrong’ with the word itself.
Research shows that women are judged more harshly than men for using the exact same filler words. A man using like
might be seen as thoughtful or approachable, while a woman doing the same is often labeled uncertain or immature.
The same language behavior that might make a man sound 'approachable' or 'thoughtful' can make a woman sound 'uncertain' or 'immature,' stemming from long-standing stereotypes about authority and confidence,
Touma noted. So even when men and women use fillers at similar rates, women tend to pay a higher social cost for them.
Moving Towards More Authentic Communication
Fortunately, there is a growing recognition that hyper-formal, perfectly polished speech is not the only – or even the best – way to communicate. The rise of informal mediums like podcasts and text messaging has fostered an appreciation for more authentic conversation.
In recent years, there has been a growing recognition that filler words are a natural part of spoken language, especially among young people,
Larson said. While formal settings may still demand more polished rhetoric, informal communication is increasingly accepting of natural speech patterns.
Ultimately, understanding the real function of these words can lead to better communication. Filler words open up a two-way street in a way that hyper-formal conversations don’t,
Touma argued. So instead of trying to erase every ‘um’ or ‘like,’ we might ask why we’re uncomfortable with natural speech in the first place — and who benefits from that discomfort.
