The humble penny has spoken its final words in a dramatic television appearance. After 232 years in circulation, the one-cent coin is being phased out by the U.S. Mint, a decision directly ordered by President Donald Trump that prompted an emotional response from the currency itself.
Penny's Emotional Farewell on National Television
During Wednesday's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the penny took center stage to share its feelings about the impending retirement. The sentient coin began with nostalgic reflections on its long history in American culture, reminding viewers of the simple pleasures it provided over two centuries.
The penny recalled being dropped into gumball machines, getting lost under couch cushions, and even being placed on railroad tracks for entertainment. It also fondly remembered its role in decision-making processes, particularly the classic coin flip that determined everything from marital decisions to everyday choices.
From Sentimental to Furious: The Penny's Transformation
What began as a sentimental journey quickly turned into an angry outburst. The coin directly blamed President Trump for its demise, stating clearly: "I've been around for 232 years. But now I am dead because President Trump murdered me."
The sketch took a dramatic turn with a theatrical scene showing the Lincoln side of the penny being shot in the head by Trump, reminiscent of John Wilkes Booth's assassination of Abraham Lincoln. This powerful visual underscored the coin's accusation against the president.
The Penny's Parting Words Shock Audience
As the segment concluded, the penny delivered its final message to the American people. "It has been a pleasure to be your lucky guy," the coin stated before unleashing its true feelings. In a shocking conclusion, the penny declared: "And before I go, I just want to say, fuck Donald Trump. And fuck nickels, too."
The U.S. Mint's decision to end penny production marks the conclusion of a 232-year chapter in American currency history. While the move aims to modernize the nation's coinage system, the penny's emotional farewell on national television has given the controversial decision a very human—and very angry—face.
