Grandmother Seeks Advice on Daughter's Mental Health Impact on Grandchildren
DEAR ABBY: My daughter, Aline, 40, has experienced constant crises since childhood. Her mood swings are extreme, shifting from kind and generous to vindictive and cruel within moments. She becomes easily triggered, launching into rants filled with hurtful words. Men frequently enter and exit her life.
I believe Aline suffers from mental illness, but she refuses therapy, claiming she is too intelligent and knows more than therapists. I am exhausted from dealing with her, as she blames me for everything. I would cut ties if I could.
Aline has three children, aged 11, 17, and 25. She treats them as possessions, making grand promises one day and revoking them the next, declaring them unworthy. The eldest moved out at 18 and has not looked back, struggling with emotional damage but now stable with support from me and his uncle.
My concern is for the younger two. I can only offer emotional support, but they are suffering. Since the abuse is not physical, I feel powerless. How can I help them and myself? — GRANDMA PROTECTOR
Dear Abby's Advice: Consider Custody and Support Options
DEAR PROTECTOR: Your daughter's middle child will turn 18 soon. Could that grandchild live with you or their adult sibling until they decide on education or employment? As for the youngest, is the father involved? Their current living situation is emotionally unhealthy, but the father's willingness to be involved matters. Depending on your daughter's condition, custody of the 11-year-old may be transferable. Consult a family law lawyer for guidance.
Another Reader Grieves the Loss of a Boyfriend
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend passed away 15 months ago, and I am devastated. He was my best friend, and I struggle to let go. He said he would love me even in death, and he took a piece of my heart. I know I am depressed. How do I move on? — HURTING HEART IN GEORGIA
Dear Abby's Response: Grief Takes Time and Support
DEAR HURTING HEART: My condolences. Moving on happens in stages, with two steps forward and one step back, until you adjust to the pain. Your love will not fade; he will remain in your heart. Eventually, you may move forward and find love again if you wish. Consider grief counseling, support groups, or individual therapy to help you through this process.
Dear Abby is written by Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
