A mother of two grown children on the autism spectrum is seeking advice after years of family conflict. The woman, identified as 'Challenged Mom' in Pennsylvania, wrote to the Dear Abby advice column detailing her struggles.
The mother and her husband have been separated for 15 years. Their daughter, who is on the autism spectrum, has been living with her father for the past two years because she refused to follow basic household rules at her mother's home, such as cleaning up after herself and caring for her pet.
Now, the father has a new girlfriend and refuses to spend time alone with his daughter. He also blames his estranged wife for their son's refusal to see him. The son, now 25, cut off contact with his father after being beaten by him at age 12. The son also holds his mother responsible for the abuse.
Abby's Response
Dear Abby advised the mother not to blame herself for gaps she did not create. She emphasized that being on the autism spectrum does not prevent someone from functioning or following rules. The daughter must accept the rules of the household she lives in, even if that means adjusting to a family dynamic that includes her father's girlfriend.
Regarding the son, Abby stressed that the mother is not to blame for the beating administered by her estranged husband. If the son is still living with her and behaving disrespectfully, she should set boundaries and consider asking him to leave. Abby urged the mother to focus on living her own life.
Another Reader's Dilemma
In a separate letter, a shuttle driver complained about a regular customer who tips only $2 on a $63 fare (3.17%). The driver considered this insulting, given his average tip of 15% and the couple's apparent wealth. Abby advised the driver to remember that he is in a service business and to decide whether he wants to continue being available to such stingy customers.
