A man in his fifties has reached out to the popular advice column Dear Abby with a deeply personal question about a lifelong habit that has brought him comfort since childhood. The individual, who identifies as "Smooth as Silk in Virginia," describes how silk fabric has always made him feel "safe," recalling wearing tights in private moments throughout his life.
A Lifelong Comfort with Silk
The letter writer explains that his affinity for silk tights began when he was a young boy, often wearing them in the bathroom or under his pajamas. As an adult, he continued this practice in private, never sharing it with his wife, children, or grandchildren. Now in his 50s, he wonders if this behavior is acceptable or if it indicates something is wrong with him, humorously questioning if he's "missing one can in his six-pack."
Abby's Reassuring Response
In her response, Abby provides reassurance that there is nothing inherently wrong with the man's preference. She notes that men have historically worn silk tights for practical reasons like warmth in cold weather, as well as for the pleasant sensation against the skin. The columnist expresses curiosity about why the man felt compelled to keep this habit secret from his wife all these years, suggesting there is nothing shameful about it.
"I wish you had mentioned why you felt it was necessary to smuggle this past your wife all these years," Abby writes, "because there is nothing shameful about it." She speculates that if he discusses it openly, his wife might reveal she was aware but respected his privacy.
Additional Relationship Questions
The column also features two other letters addressing complex relationship dynamics. In one, a man describes tension with his current wife after she discovered he still visits his deceased first wife's crypt twice yearly. Abby advises that the wife is being "childish" and should recognize that checking on a deceased spouse's resting place doesn't threaten the current marriage unless she allows it to.
Another letter comes from a man whose wife threatens divorce whenever he drinks alcohol. Abby suggests he examine the underlying reasons for his wife's strong reaction, including family history with alcohol, personality changes when drinking, and the impact on other relationships.
The Legacy of Dear Abby
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, the pen name of Jeanne Phillips, who took over the column from her mother, Pauline Phillips. The advice column has been a staple in newspapers for decades, offering guidance on personal, family, and relationship matters to readers across North America.
The column demonstrates how seemingly simple personal habits can raise complex questions about self-acceptance, communication in relationships, and societal norms. Abby's responses emphasize open communication, understanding, and the importance of not judging harmless personal preferences.
