Dear Abby: Wife Demands Truth and Apology After Decades of Marriage
A woman married for fifty years has written to the popular advice column Dear Abby, expressing deep frustration and anger over her husband's past infidelities. In her letter, she recalls that her husband cheated on her with multiple women, though he has only admitted to one affair, claiming it involved just two meetings and a single sexual encounter. He denies the existence of other affairs she vividly remembers, refusing to discuss them or apologize for the admitted transgression.
Seeking Closure Through Truth and Forgiveness
The wife, who identifies as "Heartsick in Texas," emphasizes that her primary anger stems not from the decades-old events themselves, but from her husband's ongoing dishonesty. She believes that receiving the full truth would allow her to process her emotions, get angry, and ultimately forgive him. Her heartfelt plea includes a desire for a sincere apology, which she feels is essential for moving forward in their long-term relationship.
In response, Abby advises that the wife does not need more truth to fuel her anger, as she is already intensely upset. Instead, Abby suggests that the husband is unlikely to offer the apology she seeks. The column recommends consulting a licensed marriage and family therapist to help manage the anger and facilitate emotional healing, enabling the wife to progress beyond this painful chapter.
Additional Letters Address Friendship Loss and Parental Guilt
The same column features two other letters highlighting common relational struggles. In one, a "Sad Son in California" describes how his mother's two best friends ended their nearly fifty-year friendship due to political differences. These women were like second mothers to him, and their sudden absence has left a void. Abby responds that such deep political rifts often prove irreparable, advising the mother to focus on cultivating new, less contentious friendships rather than attempting to salvage the old ones.
Another letter comes from a "Struggling in New Jersey," a 75-year-old therapist and virtual single parent who feels guilty and disrespected by her three grown children. Despite her efforts, she believes she failed as a parent and continues to compensate for their absent father. Abby reminds her that love cannot be bought and encourages her to seek therapy for herself, as professional support can help address these unresolved feelings and promote personal well-being.
Background on the Dear Abby Column
Dear Abby is authored by Jeanne Phillips, operating under the pen name Abigail Van Buren, and was originally founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column offers advice on a wide range of personal and family issues, drawing from decades of experience in addressing readers' concerns. It remains a trusted resource for those navigating complex emotional landscapes, from marital discord to friendship breakdowns and parental insecurities.
