A husband has written to Dear Abby expressing his deep concerns about his wife of two years. The couple met online and knew each other for about five years before marrying. They initially lived an hour apart and eventually purchased a condo together. However, the husband has noticed that his wife appears to be attracted to other women. He observes that lesbians often 'cruise' his wife in public places, and he suspects she is meeting women online for sexual encounters. He does not believe she is gay but thinks she enjoys the sexual aspect with women. Meanwhile, she continues to have sex with him.
Secrecy and Threats
The husband is troubled by the secrecy surrounding his wife's actions. She denies any infidelity, but he has caught her in multiple lies. They are retired and rely on their savings, most of which belong to her. He fears he cannot survive financially if they separate, and she has threatened to take a large portion of his savings through litigation. He feels trapped, stating, 'I love her, but I can't continue this farce.'
Dear Abby's Response
Dear Abby advises that while the wife may not be gay, she is likely bisexual if the husband's suspicions are correct. However, the larger issues include her threats to his savings and her dishonesty. Abby suggests the husband consider the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and consult a lawyer. She also reminds him that he may be entitled to half the proceeds from the sale of their condo, as they both invested in it. She encourages him to reflect on how he managed financially before meeting her and whether he can adapt to that lifestyle again.
Second Letter: Unrequited Love
Another letter comes from a reader still in love with a married woman who led him on years ago before marrying someone else. He remains haunted by 'what if' and feels unable to move on. Dear Abby responds with empathy, sharing her own youthful crushes on celebrities who were unavailable. She advises the reader to seek help from a licensed psychologist to overcome his lingering emotional pain, emphasizing that moving on requires concerted effort.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
