Dear Abby Column Explores Shower Avoidance and Mental Health Connection
A recent Dear Abby advice column has sparked conversation after addressing a reader's long-standing aversion to showering, with the columnist suggesting the issue may be connected to underlying mental health concerns.
Reader Describes Unconventional Hygiene Routine
The letter, signed "Unshowered in Illinois," comes from a longtime divorcee and retiree with grown children who describes an intense dislike for traditional bathing. The reader explains avoiding showers due to discomfort with water and oil flowing down their body, preferring instead to wash hair in the kitchen sink and clean with hospital-type wipes.
"I think it's gross, so I usually wash my hair in the kitchen sink," the reader writes. "I also don't get in the shower to wash my body. I hate getting out of the shower and feeling cold, or trying to get dressed partially wet."
The individual notes using light perfume and receiving compliments on their scent, but expresses concern about potential body odor issues, particularly given that seniors often experience diminished sense of smell. The reader admits to dry shaving when necessary and maintaining dental hygiene, but reveals it has been approximately six weeks since their last proper shower.
Mental Health Considerations and Available Resources
In the response, Abigail Van Buren (writing as Jeanne Phillips) addresses the reader's mention of depression, noting that while many people face various challenges, not everyone experiences clinical depression. The columnist suggests the shower avoidance could be symptomatic of deeper psychological issues.
"Although you live on a fixed income, you could benefit from discussing your issue with a licensed psychotherapist," Abby advises. "Help is available on a sliding financial scale through your county's department of mental health or your local university with a department of psychology."
The response emphasizes that while medication might help address depression symptoms, understanding the root cause of shower avoidance would likely require therapeutic conversation. Abby suggests this approach could be more effective than simple practical solutions like purchasing a bathroom heater.
Additional Relationship Advice for Older Adults
The same column includes a second letter from "Perplexed in Florida," who expresses confusion about a potential dating partner's reference to "physical baggage." Abby advises the letter writer to approach the situation with patience and openness, suggesting the man might be referring to various physical limitations or health conditions.
"He might be missing a limb or need assistance getting around, or he may be impotent," Abby writes. "Because he didn't give you the laundry list he included in his 'baggage,' you are just going to have to find out for yourself and take this a step at a time."
Background on the Advice Column
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was originally founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. The column addresses a wide range of personal and relationship issues, offering practical advice while sometimes referring readers to professional resources for more complex concerns.
This particular exchange highlights how personal hygiene habits can intersect with mental wellness, especially among older adults who may be managing fixed incomes and various life transitions. The column's suggestion to seek affordable mental health support reflects growing awareness of accessible psychological services across different socioeconomic circumstances.
